Everything has a meaning

By the point I'd be a little surprised if you hadn't noticed, but I have a few tattoos. Six if you really want to put a number to it. Each one I got at different times, and each of them has a meaning. I can never really think of what to put up on here, but I figured putting something up about my tattoos would be a good insight on to who I am, and it shows they're not just meaningless markings on my body.

I got my first tattoo when I was seventeen. I had basically been begging my parents to get it, and finally my dad agreed. When I was younger my family went sailing on the weekends, and I loved being out on the water. My dad was all about the logistics of it, and loved telling me stories about what sailing used to be and all of the history that went a long with it. One of the first stories he told me was about the nautical stars and how when ships would leave harbor they'd mark on their maps two nautical stars, one where they began, and the second to where they were headed. Long story short it was something that always stuck with me. I basically kind of kept that story with me and transpired the nautical stars into a symbolic map for me. I got my first nautical star when I was visiting a college and was seeing my life finally starting. I had absolutely no idea where I wanted to go with my life but I knew it was really going to be mine to make.

The next tattoo I got wasn't for awhile after I had gotten my first. I went a good eight months without even thinking about getting another one. Not that I hadn't already picked it out, just wasn't sure I wanted to put something else on my body that would be there forever. My mom was of course jealous that I had gotten a tattoo with my dad, and she finally convinced me that it was time for us to get our own. I don't really want to go into the whole story of why she got it, but like everyone my family has gone through some really rough times. My mom was down with my sister visiting me in Florida and we all decided we were finally going to go get our C'est La Vie tattoos. Probably one of the most cliche French sayings, but a sentiment packed with emotion. I personally got it as a reminder that no matter how hard life is at times, it's just that; life. You make it what you want. If you want to let something drain on you emotionally that's exactly what it's going to do. But you have the choice to make the best of every situation you face.

The third tattoo I got is by far my least favorite, which sounds strange, because I love all of my tattoos, I just hadn't thought this one through enough. I've always been the type of person that thinks with my heart before my head. If it means the world to someone else I'm going to do it. It may impact me financially, or force me to go without sleep, but I'm always going to help others if I have that option. I've always realized that about myself, typing it out it kind of seems a bit conceited, but I wanted something for me that even on those days where I hate to say I did something great because it negatively affected me afterwards that moment where someone is grateful and I was able to do something to make them happier means the world to me. In a round about way the key is my key to happiness. I got it facing my heart because when I make decision on what I feel, I always end up happy.

My fourth tattoo is probably the hardest one to talk about, but if I'm going to open up about all of them I'm not going to sell myself or you all short. When I first got to college I was a part of a mentor program where College aged leaders go on a retreat and learn about different styles of leadership. It was the weekend before college started so we all got to move in early, and I made some of the best friends of my life there. The night before we left for the retreat we had a little meeting to talk about the trip and what it would be like and met this tiny girl who I instantly became best friends with. That night we went back to my dorm and split a large pizza from Dominos. Each of us ate half of it and it was basically the funniest thing to everyone the nest day because of all the people there we were the smallest of everyone. Basically Jay and I spent a little bit of time with each other every day on. When summer came around we kind of fell out of touch because we were in two completely different places and had our own things going on at home. I was on my way to Boston that day for a vacation and I got a call from one of our mutual friends and after that everything just goes a bit hazy. Jay had been home for about two weeks, and was in an awful state of depression that she hadn't told anyone about. She had committed suicide and all I could think to myself was why hadn't I called, or even texted her. It's apples to oranges at this point but I took it pretty hard. Her favorite song in the entire world was Somewhere Over The Rainbow. She changed my life. She made college the best experience for me. I hadn't ever really lost anyone before her so I wasn't sure what to do. In memory of her I got the sparrow because I just remember her screeching "Blue birds fly" every time I visited her in her dorm.

The fifth tattoo was my second nautical star. By this point I was a lot more confident in my decisions and I though I had a handle on my life. I was Pre-Law had an amazing internship, was the birthday coordinator at Chuck E. Cheese, everything seemed to be falling into place. I was set for my double major, double minor path, and had gotten at least 3.8 in my 45 credits at that point. Clearly things have changed a bit since then, but I think to myself that even though the destination may be clear, the route there is always going to vary a little. So although my plans may not be a senior partner or anything like that my only true goal is to be happy, and if things change a bit along the way so be it.

My final tattoo, at least at this point kind of contradicts my key tattoo. I'm not sure how many people know the book Atlas Shrugged, or the author Ayn Rand, but the quote "Who is John Galt?" is from that massive novel. In a condensed 1300 page book the quote means be selfish. Personally I didn't get the tattoo in the sense I wanted to remind myself to be selfish, I did it for the opposite. All of Rand's characters had massive fortunes and dominated their industries. But none of them had a personal relationship with a single other individual. They were depended on because they were good at what they did, but they didn't care about other people and their feelings, they cared about being good at what they did and ow much money they made off of it. I basically got a completely different meaning from the book on my first read but after a couple more times I've kind of made "Who is John Galt?" into a quote of my own. It's not about being selfish, it's about what you want to do in your life. If you want to make money and riches, that's your choice. If you want to be the most charitable person, that's your choice. I've kind of redefined it to be something that's mine personally. 

I'm sorry it kind of turned out to be a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I guess that's really the only way to explain the meanings fully. I hope you guys enjoy, and I'm sorry if you've got to break up the readings into parts because of its novel like length. Happy Memorial Day! Be safe, and enjoy the holiday!

XOXO,

-Aiden

That awkward moment when...

So I don't even really know how to begin describing how I get myself into these kind of situations, but looking back after a few days have passed and the texts have died down a bit I can only really laugh. I'm still kind of working on the whole social media stuff, because honestly in my personal life I don't really use any of them. I used to be a huge Facebook fan and I just made an Instagram, so somehow when I was posting a picture I accidentally hit the share on Facebook button. I realized right away that I did, but I guess by that point it was a little too late. 

At first I didn't really realize that I had connected my personal Facebook with my Instagram. Cut to me opening Instagram a couple hours later and 50 new followers all of whom I know from the past 18 years of my life. A couple of ex-boyfriends, old bosses, childhood friends, and people I haven't even talked to in like 10 years. Unfortunately I was the kind of guy that if I knew you, we were going to be Facebook friends. 

Thankfully I haven't really gotten any bad responses from the people I've had to scamper to tell not to go broadcasting it all around town, I'm still not really sure who all got the notification so I can't really begin to do any clean up work. I'll share these lovely two conversations with you all, one from our family Nanny, and one from a girl I used to dance with. Hope you all can find as much humor as I can from it, because at this point I've realized there's not really any other emotion that even is worth the time.

Hope to see you all tonight on Ustream! I'll be on at 10:00 PM EST. I'm sure we can talk a little bit more about all of this fun stuff there, because I've got a little bit more damage control to do now.

XOXO

- Aiden

Despite my better judgement...

So Saturday night despite my better judgement I ended up going out to try and meet up with a couple of people. I ended up going out and despite the usual process of pregaming and all of that fun stuff I went out completely sober. I got to the club and saw a couple of friends, and decided to go over to see how their nights were and all of that. I knew almost everyone that was there and was chatting for a bit and one of the guys I didn't know offered me a drink. The first thought was to turn the drink down, but because he was with a bunch of my friends I decided nothing bad should really come of it. After a few minutes, the night just goes black. I woke up at 3:00 on Sunday afternoon in my friend's apartment with no idea how I was there or what happened the night before.

The first picture was from when I got home from the club, and the second one was from the next morning. I've only been able to get a little bit of what happened but I basically was out of control and not comprehending anything that anyone was saying to me. I was taken about half way home from someone with brown hair, a little taller and older than me, and then got out of the car and took a taxi from there. I mean, I'm not sure what really happened, however I have a pretty good idea as to what happened. I'm by no means the type of person that gets drunk off of one drink, and beyond that I would never leave my friends to go with some stranger. 

On top of it all, my wallet is missing, as are my glasses, and I have no way to get any of it back. I have one credit card, and I had $25 cash from the money I had taken out that night. The guys I went out with told me that basically after I had the drink I went from perfectly fine to incomprehensible. Overall, the night was an epic failure and I know have awful cuts all over my face, pretty sure I was drugged, and learned my lesson. Never drink a drink from someone you don't know, and on top of that make sure you see the bartender actually make the drink. So here's a cheery Aiden hoping that at least you learn from my mistakes. Quick recovery on top of that too. 

Oh, and I got a haircut! 

XOXO,

- Aiden

So, about the scars...

So I get this question all the time, and I've kind of always skated around it a bit because I didn't really know how personal I wanted things to get. As I've continued doing shoots and met more people and studios in the industry I've realized that it's not really a question I'm going to be able escape. I've decided that I'm gonna put everything on the table once, and then just direct people here if they have questions. 

When I was twelve years old I went to go spend the night at my Aunt and Uncles house and the night went great, but the next morning didn't. At some point during the night one of the gas pipes had broken and there was a massive gas leak. It was the middle of the winter and the ground was frozen. By chance of events there was a problem in the basement where the outside allowed gas in to the basement, and the foundation followed by the actual basement filled with gas. At around 5:00 in the morning the furnace turned on, and the gas in the basement lit.

I woke up seven days later in the hospital after being placed in a medically induced coma. When I woke up I clearly wasn't really aware of what was going on, but my life was changed. I'm sure in some of my shoots you'll see a little more than the normal pictures show, but I was now covered in burns, and scars. I found out that I had to receive my first heart surgery, and had a couple of other issues that the normal twelve year old boy doesn't really know how to deal with.

I have thirteen scars from the accident. The big one on my abdomen that you can see in basically any picture I post, as well as two others on my stomach, one around my bellybutton from my colon surgery, and one under the nautical star opposite the big noticeable one from my first heart surgery. The scar on my stomach that you see in everything as well as the scars on my right knee, and left thigh are from where burns removed. Two under my right armpit as well as two under my left armpit from chest tubes. One on my forehead from a burn that thankfully is no longer noticeable. One on my left wrist, and one on my right foot from skin grafts, and one on right thigh where they took the skin from. That totals my first thirteen. I also have two super small scars in my groin area that are completely invisible from my second heart surgery. 

But that is enough about all of that! Now for the positive notes. First off, it was six years ago, and it's been a super long time and I don't remember a thing that happened. Two, it's given me an unbelievable outlook on life. You never know when your time is up, so you have to live every day to it's fullest potential. I'm going to post another post this week to take the sad status away, but I don't really know what else to post with it. I hope you all have a great night, and thank you Amy for your advice!

By the way, I'm really sorry if this comes accross as a search for sympathy. Because I honestly do not want or need it. I'm sorry again!

XOXO

- Aiden