So, it's been awhile...

So, quite frankly, I'm not even sure where to begin. It feels like ages since I've given any insight on to how life is or to what's actually going on. Just a tweet here and there leaving, I'm guessing, quite a few people hanging.

To start off with it's probably best to acknowledge the biggest change in my life since I last spoke, which I'm sure many of you could guess, Blake Stone. To sum up our unbelievably complex relationship, I'll say this. I love the boy. Never has someone come into my life and changed it so quickly, and might I add 99% for the positive. The only negative being handling money for two people seems to be a little bit more difficult.

He moved here to Los Angeles in September shortly after my birthday, and literally from the day he walked in I was his. It's been a good length of time already, and to anyone who knows my past relationships, he's the longest.

I'd do just about anything for the boy, and will fight for him no matter what it takes. I'll add on more to that soon, but I should probably keep this as brief as possible seeings how it's not exactly possible to sum up a solid eight months shortly.

I've kind of taken a step back from shooting any videos because honestly, I don't think I'm ready to shoot anymore yet. Not that I'm done for good, but I'd rather focus on myself and get in better shape before I start putting myself on camera. There's absolutely no point in me doing something when I'm not 100% positive that people will be happy with what I'm putting out there.

In the meantime I've decided to step up my escorting game, and start doing cam shows with Blake. This allows me to have a bit of a freer schedule, and I get to do something I know I can put out with confidence. Blake and I have already done a number of shows, and people seem to like it! I'll add the link later to our personal room, as well as our fan club. I'd look the links up now but it's a bit late.

Other than that things really haven't changed too much. The cycle of room mates continue, and I seem to still be lucking out with any and just about everyone that moves in here. Nine times out of ten it's been financial issues, but I think we all remember the crazy one. I have a good amount of pictures to upload over the next few days, and will be doing a complete overhaul of my website AidenConnors.com. Honestly, I've been slacking on a number of fronts the past few months. But in all in good time.

I hope this see's everyone well and happy humping. ;)

-Aiden

With no hesitation...

I'm going to put everything on the table, blunt, honest, and with no hesitation. I am an adult entertainer, I have sex on camera for money, and I love my job.

I am from a super small conservative town in New York, one of the states that is known for being a front runner on human rights, and personal liberties. Something that my small, closed mind town has trouble understanding. This is from the last boyfriend I had before leaving for college. As can be seen here, a child that has yet to grow up or seen reality. A child that throughout the length of our year and half relationship cheated on me with well over ten guys. From good personal friends, to guys I'd never met, he'd managed to make his way around town and have sex with just about every gay guy within a 25 mile radius. To say the least it struck a huge personal chord, and since then I've received texts, FaceBook messages, and even comments on Instagram from people that are "disgusted" with my personal choices.

Now lets get this straight, I was the dream child, not by own definition, but by the claims of everyone that has had the pleasure of working with, teaching, or mentoring me in any way what so ever. I by no means think I am Jesus reborn, or the savior of the free world. I do however have my shit together. For years I have done what ever its taken to make every one around me happy. Whether that was taking on the responsibilities of someone else, or covering for a coworker because at the age of 20 they have a 2 year old child whose birthday was that weekend, or ever giving the $50 in my bank account to a friend because they have a bill they need to take care of and I truly don't have anything that's a necessity going on. For 18 years I lived my life that way. For someone who's 19 that may sound over confident and a bit conceited, but there is so much that's happened that is truly my own to deal with that needs not be brought up here. I'm educated, I work hard, and I will do whatever it takes to make my life worth living. At this point though I do not care about your opinions of me. The petty drama that happened in the 7th grade so you feel the need to bring it up now and say you're so much better than me because you aren't in the adult industry. I'm tired of hearing that because I use what was given to me to earn money and live my life happily I am the scum of the Earth, and that you can't wait to see how I act when I have AIDS. Porn does not equal AIDS. Being uneducated on safe sex and testing leads to AIDS. The fact that you've had more sexual partners than I have but feel the need to throw stones shows how truly uneducated you are.

This is me giving a blow job to Alex Andrews, an adult entertainer that I met that day and got paid to do a scene with. I was, by choice, tested only a few days before this, and again, by choice a few days later. Now think back to your last one night stand, because I can say without a doubt I'm sure you've had one. Were you tested a few days before that? How about a few days after? We went through numerous condoms that day because safety for models is not something that the studio takes as a joke. Did you wear one that night? Or were you too drunk to know what was going on? On set we are asked if we are fully willing, under no influences, and understand the risks of what we are about do. Can you think of a single time you've had sex where you were asked this, and actually had to sign a legal contract to testify to this?

This is me getting fucked, yes fucked, by a man with an extremely large dick. Consensual, with a condom, and I was again paid for the scene. In less than a few days my asshole was back to it's normal size, and by no means "loose." Can you think of a time where you've has sex with someone with what's considered above average? Was your body permanently disfigured? Because if that's the case you need a doctors appointment, not to cast judgement on someone else for their life choices.

I will end this rant with this, what everyone I talked to today about this whole "problem" received.

I've debated doing this for awhile now, but it's become pretty clear that it needs to happen. I've made some decisions that many of you may not support. But that is solely my decision. If you have a problem with that then I'm sorry to have upset you in any way, but that's not my problem. If you do have a problem with that and you can't bare to see me live my life how I choose I will happily say goodbye and we will never need to speak again. This is my life and I will live it how I see fit. You may categorize my decisions as stupid and reckless, but in all reality you have not the slightest idea as to what's going on. My family supports me. They ask questions. They know what's truly happening. They still care. I will never place someone before myself again. I am happy, and I will continue doing what I want for as long as I am happy. This will be the one and only time I say this. If you want to have a civil discussion about it, and you actually matter, you will have a way to contact me. If you can't do this, and want no further contact it's been really nice knowing you, and I wish you the best.

I doubt that this will apply to any one that's read this post. But I will be sending a link to this post, as long as links to all of my work to everyone that had a problem with me today. Because above all things, if you are truly a friend, and truly care about me you will be happy for me because I am happy.

I'm heading to bed now because tomorrow I have plans with my dad. A man that knows all about what I do, goes to church, is my parent, yet still has the decency to let me make my own mistakes and choose how I live my life.

XOXO,

- Aiden

Where in the world am I

It's always an interesting homecoming to say the very least. Seeing old friends, all the family, and hearing the wonderful stories of all the things to do in these oh so very small towns. The new hot trend is dressing up and doing crazy things to see peoples reactions. Which for me has never been a problem.

To say the least, I'm unbelievably bored and cannot wait to get out of this town. In just a few short days I'll be making my way to a city that's just a bit bigger. Where thankfully I'll have the option to hang out with friends that I've known for basically my entire life. I've only got only a few more weeks here, and then I'll be making my way to New York City for about two weeks. I'll be enjoying my first ever pride and seeing some friends from Tampa one last time before I finally settle down in Los Angeles.

On a better note though, my scene with Hot House has finally released! It's been up for a week now, and I couldn't be happier with the results so far. I've got a good rating on Hot House, and the scene's got a four out of five so far. The more votes the better, so if you have a subscription to Hot House, I'd love for you to rate me high. As a little incentive I'll share a couple of the pictures from the photo set here. 

Check out my twitter for some more pictures from the scene, and for the full length scene make sure you swing by Hot House. It's definitely going to be an interesting couple of weeks, and I'm going to do my best to keep you all filled in on these adventures. I hope you guys can keep up with me, because even I'm having trouble with that right now.

XOXO,

- Aiden

Everything has a meaning

By the point I'd be a little surprised if you hadn't noticed, but I have a few tattoos. Six if you really want to put a number to it. Each one I got at different times, and each of them has a meaning. I can never really think of what to put up on here, but I figured putting something up about my tattoos would be a good insight on to who I am, and it shows they're not just meaningless markings on my body.

I got my first tattoo when I was seventeen. I had basically been begging my parents to get it, and finally my dad agreed. When I was younger my family went sailing on the weekends, and I loved being out on the water. My dad was all about the logistics of it, and loved telling me stories about what sailing used to be and all of the history that went a long with it. One of the first stories he told me was about the nautical stars and how when ships would leave harbor they'd mark on their maps two nautical stars, one where they began, and the second to where they were headed. Long story short it was something that always stuck with me. I basically kind of kept that story with me and transpired the nautical stars into a symbolic map for me. I got my first nautical star when I was visiting a college and was seeing my life finally starting. I had absolutely no idea where I wanted to go with my life but I knew it was really going to be mine to make.

The next tattoo I got wasn't for awhile after I had gotten my first. I went a good eight months without even thinking about getting another one. Not that I hadn't already picked it out, just wasn't sure I wanted to put something else on my body that would be there forever. My mom was of course jealous that I had gotten a tattoo with my dad, and she finally convinced me that it was time for us to get our own. I don't really want to go into the whole story of why she got it, but like everyone my family has gone through some really rough times. My mom was down with my sister visiting me in Florida and we all decided we were finally going to go get our C'est La Vie tattoos. Probably one of the most cliche French sayings, but a sentiment packed with emotion. I personally got it as a reminder that no matter how hard life is at times, it's just that; life. You make it what you want. If you want to let something drain on you emotionally that's exactly what it's going to do. But you have the choice to make the best of every situation you face.

The third tattoo I got is by far my least favorite, which sounds strange, because I love all of my tattoos, I just hadn't thought this one through enough. I've always been the type of person that thinks with my heart before my head. If it means the world to someone else I'm going to do it. It may impact me financially, or force me to go without sleep, but I'm always going to help others if I have that option. I've always realized that about myself, typing it out it kind of seems a bit conceited, but I wanted something for me that even on those days where I hate to say I did something great because it negatively affected me afterwards that moment where someone is grateful and I was able to do something to make them happier means the world to me. In a round about way the key is my key to happiness. I got it facing my heart because when I make decision on what I feel, I always end up happy.

My fourth tattoo is probably the hardest one to talk about, but if I'm going to open up about all of them I'm not going to sell myself or you all short. When I first got to college I was a part of a mentor program where College aged leaders go on a retreat and learn about different styles of leadership. It was the weekend before college started so we all got to move in early, and I made some of the best friends of my life there. The night before we left for the retreat we had a little meeting to talk about the trip and what it would be like and met this tiny girl who I instantly became best friends with. That night we went back to my dorm and split a large pizza from Dominos. Each of us ate half of it and it was basically the funniest thing to everyone the nest day because of all the people there we were the smallest of everyone. Basically Jay and I spent a little bit of time with each other every day on. When summer came around we kind of fell out of touch because we were in two completely different places and had our own things going on at home. I was on my way to Boston that day for a vacation and I got a call from one of our mutual friends and after that everything just goes a bit hazy. Jay had been home for about two weeks, and was in an awful state of depression that she hadn't told anyone about. She had committed suicide and all I could think to myself was why hadn't I called, or even texted her. It's apples to oranges at this point but I took it pretty hard. Her favorite song in the entire world was Somewhere Over The Rainbow. She changed my life. She made college the best experience for me. I hadn't ever really lost anyone before her so I wasn't sure what to do. In memory of her I got the sparrow because I just remember her screeching "Blue birds fly" every time I visited her in her dorm.

The fifth tattoo was my second nautical star. By this point I was a lot more confident in my decisions and I though I had a handle on my life. I was Pre-Law had an amazing internship, was the birthday coordinator at Chuck E. Cheese, everything seemed to be falling into place. I was set for my double major, double minor path, and had gotten at least 3.8 in my 45 credits at that point. Clearly things have changed a bit since then, but I think to myself that even though the destination may be clear, the route there is always going to vary a little. So although my plans may not be a senior partner or anything like that my only true goal is to be happy, and if things change a bit along the way so be it.

My final tattoo, at least at this point kind of contradicts my key tattoo. I'm not sure how many people know the book Atlas Shrugged, or the author Ayn Rand, but the quote "Who is John Galt?" is from that massive novel. In a condensed 1300 page book the quote means be selfish. Personally I didn't get the tattoo in the sense I wanted to remind myself to be selfish, I did it for the opposite. All of Rand's characters had massive fortunes and dominated their industries. But none of them had a personal relationship with a single other individual. They were depended on because they were good at what they did, but they didn't care about other people and their feelings, they cared about being good at what they did and ow much money they made off of it. I basically got a completely different meaning from the book on my first read but after a couple more times I've kind of made "Who is John Galt?" into a quote of my own. It's not about being selfish, it's about what you want to do in your life. If you want to make money and riches, that's your choice. If you want to be the most charitable person, that's your choice. I've kind of redefined it to be something that's mine personally. 

I'm sorry it kind of turned out to be a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I guess that's really the only way to explain the meanings fully. I hope you guys enjoy, and I'm sorry if you've got to break up the readings into parts because of its novel like length. Happy Memorial Day! Be safe, and enjoy the holiday!

XOXO,

-Aiden

That awkward moment when...

So I don't even really know how to begin describing how I get myself into these kind of situations, but looking back after a few days have passed and the texts have died down a bit I can only really laugh. I'm still kind of working on the whole social media stuff, because honestly in my personal life I don't really use any of them. I used to be a huge Facebook fan and I just made an Instagram, so somehow when I was posting a picture I accidentally hit the share on Facebook button. I realized right away that I did, but I guess by that point it was a little too late. 

At first I didn't really realize that I had connected my personal Facebook with my Instagram. Cut to me opening Instagram a couple hours later and 50 new followers all of whom I know from the past 18 years of my life. A couple of ex-boyfriends, old bosses, childhood friends, and people I haven't even talked to in like 10 years. Unfortunately I was the kind of guy that if I knew you, we were going to be Facebook friends. 

Thankfully I haven't really gotten any bad responses from the people I've had to scamper to tell not to go broadcasting it all around town, I'm still not really sure who all got the notification so I can't really begin to do any clean up work. I'll share these lovely two conversations with you all, one from our family Nanny, and one from a girl I used to dance with. Hope you all can find as much humor as I can from it, because at this point I've realized there's not really any other emotion that even is worth the time.

Hope to see you all tonight on Ustream! I'll be on at 10:00 PM EST. I'm sure we can talk a little bit more about all of this fun stuff there, because I've got a little bit more damage control to do now.

XOXO

- Aiden

Despite my better judgement...

So Saturday night despite my better judgement I ended up going out to try and meet up with a couple of people. I ended up going out and despite the usual process of pregaming and all of that fun stuff I went out completely sober. I got to the club and saw a couple of friends, and decided to go over to see how their nights were and all of that. I knew almost everyone that was there and was chatting for a bit and one of the guys I didn't know offered me a drink. The first thought was to turn the drink down, but because he was with a bunch of my friends I decided nothing bad should really come of it. After a few minutes, the night just goes black. I woke up at 3:00 on Sunday afternoon in my friend's apartment with no idea how I was there or what happened the night before.

The first picture was from when I got home from the club, and the second one was from the next morning. I've only been able to get a little bit of what happened but I basically was out of control and not comprehending anything that anyone was saying to me. I was taken about half way home from someone with brown hair, a little taller and older than me, and then got out of the car and took a taxi from there. I mean, I'm not sure what really happened, however I have a pretty good idea as to what happened. I'm by no means the type of person that gets drunk off of one drink, and beyond that I would never leave my friends to go with some stranger. 

On top of it all, my wallet is missing, as are my glasses, and I have no way to get any of it back. I have one credit card, and I had $25 cash from the money I had taken out that night. The guys I went out with told me that basically after I had the drink I went from perfectly fine to incomprehensible. Overall, the night was an epic failure and I know have awful cuts all over my face, pretty sure I was drugged, and learned my lesson. Never drink a drink from someone you don't know, and on top of that make sure you see the bartender actually make the drink. So here's a cheery Aiden hoping that at least you learn from my mistakes. Quick recovery on top of that too. 

Oh, and I got a haircut! 

XOXO,

- Aiden

So, about the scars...

So I get this question all the time, and I've kind of always skated around it a bit because I didn't really know how personal I wanted things to get. As I've continued doing shoots and met more people and studios in the industry I've realized that it's not really a question I'm going to be able escape. I've decided that I'm gonna put everything on the table once, and then just direct people here if they have questions. 

When I was twelve years old I went to go spend the night at my Aunt and Uncles house and the night went great, but the next morning didn't. At some point during the night one of the gas pipes had broken and there was a massive gas leak. It was the middle of the winter and the ground was frozen. By chance of events there was a problem in the basement where the outside allowed gas in to the basement, and the foundation followed by the actual basement filled with gas. At around 5:00 in the morning the furnace turned on, and the gas in the basement lit.

I woke up seven days later in the hospital after being placed in a medically induced coma. When I woke up I clearly wasn't really aware of what was going on, but my life was changed. I'm sure in some of my shoots you'll see a little more than the normal pictures show, but I was now covered in burns, and scars. I found out that I had to receive my first heart surgery, and had a couple of other issues that the normal twelve year old boy doesn't really know how to deal with.

I have thirteen scars from the accident. The big one on my abdomen that you can see in basically any picture I post, as well as two others on my stomach, one around my bellybutton from my colon surgery, and one under the nautical star opposite the big noticeable one from my first heart surgery. The scar on my stomach that you see in everything as well as the scars on my right knee, and left thigh are from where burns removed. Two under my right armpit as well as two under my left armpit from chest tubes. One on my forehead from a burn that thankfully is no longer noticeable. One on my left wrist, and one on my right foot from skin grafts, and one on right thigh where they took the skin from. That totals my first thirteen. I also have two super small scars in my groin area that are completely invisible from my second heart surgery. 

But that is enough about all of that! Now for the positive notes. First off, it was six years ago, and it's been a super long time and I don't remember a thing that happened. Two, it's given me an unbelievable outlook on life. You never know when your time is up, so you have to live every day to it's fullest potential. I'm going to post another post this week to take the sad status away, but I don't really know what else to post with it. I hope you all have a great night, and thank you Amy for your advice!

By the way, I'm really sorry if this comes accross as a search for sympathy. Because I honestly do not want or need it. I'm sorry again!

XOXO

- Aiden